Alternative Proposal for Canada

A New Nation

Dear Canadians,

We’re so sorry Trump is being such a hoser. CTC has many Canadian readers, and we’re sure you’re as dismayed by this US authoritarian regime’s behavior as we are. Rest assured, a majority of Americans don’t see the world the same way as Trump and love Canada.

Here at CTC, we’re always trying to skate to where the puck is going to be. Therefore, we’d like to submit a counter proposal for a new nation—the most beautiful nation anywhere in the world. After all, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Powered 100% by clean energy and a circular economy, a leader in bio manufacturing and cancer research, public transport, density & biking first, immigrant friendly (sans neo-nazis), equal rights and equal pay, LGBTQ+ rights, reciprocal tariffs only, abortion’s legal, assault weapons and high-capacity magazines illegal, fair and inflation adjusted minimum wage, universal healthcare with private options, high taxation for the uber wealthy and low taxation for everyone else—corporations pay their actual fair share, world’s highest public education per person budget, universal PreK, 3 month mandatory maternal + paternal leave, transparent and reasonable crypto + AI regulations, supreme court term limits, freedom of speech, corporate lobbying illegal, presidential elections determined by popular vote, nation-wide maple syrup Mondays and taco Tuesdays…you get the point.

This will be the most powerful nation in the world, bigger and stronger than ever—representing ~45% of US GDP—and Canada will be a big part of that.

We drafted a map of this new great nation and are open to suggestions, including its name. Also, we’re including Greenland for good measure, assuming they’d be interested. Let us know what you think!

Warmly,

CTC—here to say things lots of people are thinking out loud