Here I Am

A personal note

On January 1st I wrote a personal post—2024: Here We Come—about turning 40 and being fully appreciative of the power of the individual combined with a collaborative community.

Little did I know that a day later I’d go through a breakup that would turn my world upside down, receive what was essentially an eviction notice from the landlord of my home of 5 years, encounter an unexpected family illness, and then witness several companies I invested in fail or go zombie mode.

I’m not complaining. Everybody goes through tough times. And I’m so fortunate and grateful to have loved and lost, to have lived in San Francisco, to still have family in my life, to have had the financial ability to invest in awesome entrepreneurs and now myself. I’m merely sharing my experience as an act of reflection so it might help someone else.

In reaction to the proverbial sh*t hitting the fan in all directions at once, instead of shaking my fists in the air and blaming the universe as used to be my M.O., I chose to look inside and take action.

Due to my inability to give anywhere close to 100% with thoughts of quitting everything swirling in my mind, the situation forced me to delegate, and I found it within me to put a fake smile on my face and recruit what’s now an AMAZING team. Speaking of being grateful…

I then made a huge financial commitment to my mental and physical health. I immediately got not one, but two therapists and a psychiatrist to take my negative love patterns head on. I signed up for and am now a proud graduate of Hoffman—the most transformative experience of my adult life so far, if I must say. I also signed up for an intense physical health retreat where I lost 13 pounds in a week.

While hiking in the mountains during the health retreat, fueled by a calorie restricted vegan diet and about to faint from the intense heat, I had three words drumming in my head—”Here I am.” Yes, for the first time in my adult life—here I am—accepting and loving myself—embracing every moment and being at peace with however the chips may fall. I can’t help but be reflective when I looked back and saw a personal post to begin the year titled “Here we come”. Oh little did I know…

And this is why I called our upcoming tour “Here We Are”. I want everybody to feel this feeling. The power of being in the moment and loving yourself—knowing that you are awesome—and that we together are incredible people and we’re going to solve climate change through ingenuity and collaboration. We’re living during such an important blink of human history—a moment we’ll look back on in admiration.

For all those out there having a tough time—which I’m certain there are many—just remember that you are not alone, you are awesome, and you are loved. There’s never a better time to change than now, and allow those changes to be positive for yourself. I may be projecting, but I’ve found while working on climate I’ve put EVERYTHING into helping others at sacrifice of my own well being. I regret nothing—but for the first time in my life I’m taking care of myself—which is enabling me to be of better service to others. So—if this resonates with you and are fortunate enough to have the ability—please take some time to take care of yourself. The time and energy is well worth it.

Thank you to all of the family, friends, and colleagues who showed up and have stood by my side—for listening and providing countless hugs. To all others still reading and new people I’ll meet on the road soon—I can’t wait to share this journey with you—to capture your creativity, energy, and optimism and share it with others—and also to see where I land on the other side of this grand experiment that is Climate Tech Cocktails.

See you soon. And remember—be a circle, folks—because life’s too damn short to be a square.

Warmly,

Matthew, the man behind the emoji