Hot100: Mission Accomplished
100lbs lost over 18 months
Squatting with two 25lb weights on my shoulders during a Saturday morning Barry’s class, I have one of those moments when I re-realize just how much weight I’ve lost.
“…and this is only 50…" I think to myself, glutes burning. Holy sh*t. I can’t believe I was walking around with an extra 100 pounds.
The final 25 have been slower despite stretching my fasting and exercise routines to their limits. I can’t wait to eat tonight…marking the completion of another five day fast, preceded by a 48 hour and an additional five day…which were preceded by a 72 hour…so on, so forth. All while walking 6 miles/day, running 8-10 miles/day, sculpt yoga three times/week and two Barry’s sessions/week.
While physically exhausting, the true test is mental. Although my body’s gotten used to fasting at this point, it doesn’t mean I don’t get hungry. “Hunger means loss,” has become my mantra. This is when the real work happens—flatline or win.
I push through. Puncturing fresh cherry tomatoes with my teeth, juice splashing against my cheeks, I can literally sense the vitamin c seeping into my skin, replenishing me. Only four more days and three more pounds. It’s as good as done. Tears fill my eyes.
Losing weight is losing comfort. Shedding lies. I didn’t become obese because I love food—the fat masked the pain from my child/young adulthood. *Overcoming what I can’t discuss here*, I layered on fat for safety and overworked to avoid. Facing the truth, slaying demons, I’m free. What will I become?
The now familiar jabbing of an ink-covered needle draws the number 100 beneath where steel shackles once held me down. My friend Ryan opens the shop door, wandering into Two Cranes dictating his first tattoo observation—noticeably squirming while capturing video of me smiling and joking with Rubberband Dan. “Is that blood?” Ryan’s freaked out. “No, but there will be blood.” Dan chuckles at my movie reference.
Taking a deep breath, I pause to capture the moment. Surrounded by friends—some old and some new—heavy Italian plates pass around a table too small for us. The right kind of cozy.
I blow out candles on a red velvet cake. My favorite. Delirious, I smile and celebrate. I understand life’s a collection of moments—the older I get, the more valuable they become. I embrace this one. I wouldn’t trade seats with anybody.
It’s hard to believe I lost 100lbs, but I did. I added years onto my life, a life filled with potential. If I can fill a 3,000 personal venue to capacity, if I can lose 100 pounds, if I can do a mental 180, what else am I capable of?
Humans can accomplish anything. We just gotta put our minds to it and grit.
Be a circle, not a square.
-Matt
